Faking It
by Team M
Summary: And just know, that everything she does, she does for him. -Niley Oneshot


**Faking It.**

She glanced at her cell phone, letting out another sigh. It was in her hand, the number was dialed – all she'd have to do is hit send. But she couldn't do it, not this time.

She shouldn't be here again, and she couldn't call him. He shouldn't need to be her hero every time – hell, she was twenty-six, not sixteen, she shouldn't need a hero. This wasn't high school anymore. He should be able to sleep through a Friday night without getting a drunken phone call. And she knew it, she knew he deserved better. She knew she had to stop doing this to him.

It was final, she decided as she sat on the curb. She couldn't call him. She knew her friends would leave her again – they always do. Just, for some reason, she was hoping it would be different.

It wouldn't ever be different, though, and she's known that the past few weeks. She's just been trying to avoid it. Her friends would get her wasted while they all stayed somewhat sober (or at least sober enough to drive home or act as if they weren't drunk), then, they'd watch as she lost control of herself like it was some type of show. She closed her eyes, thinking of how terrible she acted these particular nights. The way she groped other guys and said things that Nick would _never _approve of.

Honestly, she was waiting for Nick to finally give up on her. She would have given up a long time ago. Sure, she was pretty, but let's face it; Nick could do a lot better than some girl who gets drunk every weekend. He could get a gorgeous girlfriend anytime he wanted and completely ditch her. The worst part was that Miley would understand if he ever did that. She wasn't worth it.

It would be happening soon, him leaving her. She could feel it in her that he was about ready to let go. A person could only hold on and pray for change so long before they lost hope. And, well, once a person loses hope... It's over.

"Miley?"

She turned around at the soft voice, looking up at him with tears in her eyes. Why did he come? She didn't call him because she didn't want him to be bothered.

"Come on," he held out his hand. "It's time to go home."

"Why are you here?"

"I wanted to make sure you were safe," he pulled her up, wrapping her in a hug.

She looked down, almost embarrassed that he had to see her like this every week. She wanted to change – she wanted it more than anything – it was just so hard. "I didn't want to bother you again."

"You aren't a bother, Mi," he squeezed her tighter. "You're the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"Bullshit," she laughed airily, letting her tears fall. Why didn't he see it? How could he not see how she was nothing? "I'm just some alcoholic."

He closed his eyes and she knew he knew it was true. "You have a small problem," he admitted. "But, we'll get through it. You're amazing."

"I'm scared, Nick," she let the tears fall down her face, not even caring that he probably thought she was the weakest person alive. "It just feels so good to be drunk and forget everything. Forget about Ryan and how hard it's gonna be for any guy to ever love me. It feels so damn good, and I don't know if I can stop now."

"You can," he stated firmly. "I know you can. I believe it more than I've ever believed in anything."

She wiped her tears briefly before meeting his eyes again. "I'm sorry."

"Don't be," he rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "Don't be sorry, because you know I'll always forgive you."

Once again, she nodded, clinging to Nick again.

"C'mon, let's get home. Ryan misses you."

He grabbed her arm, carefully leading her to his car. He sat her in the passenger seat, buckling the belt for her as she still wondered how she was lucky enough to even be graced with his presence. He was so accepting of her, and Ryan, and all of her mistakes. She didn't understand how he could see her so high, as if she was this person who could do anything.

He pulled into her driveway, pulling on her arm before she was able to open the door. "Don't let anyone tell you you're less than you are. Don't let them convince you you're just another girl in the world, okay? You're more than that."

She smiled a little, giving a small nod. It was crazy, but when he said it, for a split second, he made her believe his words, too.

"Okay."

"Let's go see my favorite ten year old," he opened his door, running over to open hers for her. She got out, giving him another quick one armed hug.

"Ryan! Look who I found!" he yelled once he walked into her house. It always amazed her how comfortable Nick was with her son. While other people looked at him as if he was so different, Nick loved him. He loved him almost as much as he loved her. Then, beyond that, he didn't run away when he met him, he didn't call her a slut or whore – something she's been told so many times.

"Mom!" he yelled. She heard him spin his chair around before seeing him wheel towards her. She laughed at his Jersey, looking at Nick in disbelief.

She smiled, leaning down to give him a hug. "Hey, Baby. Nice shirt."

"Thanks! Nicky gave it to me! Isn't it cool? It's his basketball jersey. He said he'd shoot hoops with me tomorrow, isn't that awesome?"

"That is awesome. And feel special, he never let me even _touch _that jersey."

"Woah," he grinned, looking down at the red and white coloring.

"C'mon, it's late. Time for you to get to bed," she pushed on his head a little, letting him turn around by himself. She turned to the man next to her, looking up at him. "Stay here?"

He nodded as she caught up with her son, ruffling his hair.

"Thanks for playing with me, Nick!" he called back, right before he went into his room on the single floor house. "Where were you, Mom? You should've played with us."

She bit her lip. She never felt more guilty than after she came home from the bar every Friday night. Every night when she came home, she realized how stupid she was being, but the next week it was as if those feelings disappeared as she headed out the door. "I was busy."

"You're busy a lot," he grimaced. She knew he wasn't trying to make her feel bad, but it definitely did. It made her feel horrible – this was her kid. She should be there for him more than she was.

"I know, Sweetie. But I'm gonna try to change that, okay?"

The way he smiled at that let her know that he still believed in her too. Him and Nick, they always believed in her. And this time, she would change. She promised herself that she wouldn't be getting drunk next week. She'd stay home with Ryan and Nick.

"Okay. I _really_ like Nick," he told her as he tried to push himself out of the wheelchair and onto his bed. Miley went over, instantly trying to help him. "I can do it! Nick taught me how. I just need to practice."

"Okay," She watched as he kept trying to push himself out until he finally caught the right angle, hopping onto his bed.

"I did it!" he looked at her amazed. "Mom, I did it!"

She was just as shocked, her eyes wide. He had never been able to climb into his bed by himself before.

"I can't believe it!" she laughed, going to give him a hug. "That's great!"

"Are you proud of me?"

Miley nodded, sitting on the edge of his bed. She wondered how long Nick and him had been practicing that. Obviously awhile, but he never gave up on it... Her son was pretty strong. "More than proud. You have no idea."

"I can't believe Nick was right. He's gonna be so happy when I tell him!" His eyes were wide, still not believing what he just did, but she couldn't blame him, because if she hadn't have just watched him do it, she wouldn't believe it either.

"He'll be more than happy," she confirmed, turning off the light. "I'll see you tomorrow. Good night. I love you, Ryan."

"I love you too," he responded as she kissed his forehead, walking out.

She glanced around the small house before seeing Nick cleaning up the various video games and snacks downstairs. Shaking her head she walked over, grabbing him from behind, stumbling and falling on him a little more than needed.

"You aren't cleaning my house."

"If you haven't noticed you're not really in the best condition to clean," he gave her a bittersweet look. She knew he as disappointed as she was, deep down he hated her like this. Yet, he stuck around. "Besides, it's my mess."

"I'll get it tomorrow morning," she yawned, grabbing his arm and dragging him outside to the porch.

"Ryan sleeping?"

"Yeah," she leaned her head against his chest. She didn't want to tell him but she had one drink too many tonight and the world was spinning right now. "He likes you a lot. You're his role-model, you know that?"

"I know," he began to rub small circles on her back. "I hope I can be a good one. It's so much pressure knowing he's looking up to me."

"Don't worry about it, you're the best person he has in his life."

"What about you?"

"I'm a drunken whore, Nick," she croaked out, the final drinks she had finally kicking in. "He'd pick you any day."

"He loves you," he protested. But she knew that her own child loved Nick more. The worst part was, she was happy that it wasn't her as his idol. She didn't deserve it at all. "Uh," he stuttered. "You should know... he asked me what the short bus was for today. He said some kids were making fun of him for it."

Miley snapped her head up at him, tears coming to her eyes. Ryan shouldn't need to deal with that and Nick definitely shouldn't need to answer the question for him. She should have been there to answer instead of being an idiot and getting wasted. God, how stupid can she be! "What'd you tell him?"

"The truth," he shrugged. Her eyes widened, thinking of how he must've taken it. "That it's for the coolest kids ever, and sometimes people are gonna make fun of him because they're jealous they aren't allowed on."

"What'd he say?"

"He asked what a retard was. I told him to ask you that one."

"Great," she sighed before looking up to him. "Thanks for everything you do, though. You really are a big help."

"No problem. You're my _best-friend_, I'll always be here for you," he showed off his dimples. "No matter how stupid you can be sometimes, I'm here to help you. Then annoy the hell out of you tomorrow while you're hungover."

She smiled, looking to the ground.

"Or you could be my best-friend and make me coffee or something."

He stayed silent for a few seconds before that mischievous smile appeared on his face. "Nah."

She softly laughed a little. "Well, I'll always be here for you too. For anything."

"I know you will. You're a pretty kick-ass girl, you know?"

"I've been told," she mumbled, feeling her eyes slowly closing on her, and as badly as she wanted to stay up with Nick, she knew she was practically asleep already.

"Tired?" he chuckled.

"Mmm."

The next thing she knew he had picked her up bridal style, carrying her to her room. He felt her take off the uncomfortable heels she was still wearing before tucking her in. He leaned down, giving her a hug.

"Good-night, Beautiful."

She blushed as she gazed into his chocolate brown eyes, a huge smile on her face. She was really lucky to have him. She knew that.

"Night, Nicky," she pulled him down, giving him a soft, but long, kiss on the lips. "I love you so much."

She knew they were best-friends – for some reason no matter how drunk she got she couldn't forget that fact – but that didn't change the fact that she loved him more than that. She loved him more than that even when she was sober, but when she was drunk, it was okay to show it... Acceptable, even.

She watched him look at her solemnly and give a little nod to her. "I love you too, Miley. I'll see you in the morning."

As he shut the door, she wished that he'd realize sometimes how badly she wanted him to confront her about these nights. That for once he'd realize that she didn't kiss him because of the alcohol. She kissed him because that was the only time she was brave enough to. She wished that he'd realize that the alcohol didn't make her do any of those things, but that she wanted to do it all.

There were some days where she'd catch him staring at her with that analytical look on his face, the look she knew meant he was reading straight through her. She knew that most of the time, Nick did realize that she remembers everything the next day. He even realized that she's in control of herself, she could take care of herself, and she didn't need his help most nights. She knew he knew all of it. Yet, he pretended not to, and that's what drove her insane.

All she wanted to know was why he didn't do anything more with her. He didn't push her away, but he certainly didn't ask her out yet. Eventually, she sighed, passing out, thinking of how tomorrow she would have to act like she didn't remember how they kissed tonight, how amazing it felt, and how badly she wished it could happen every night. She'd have to pretend not to noticed that he had ended up cleaning her house overnight and taking care of other small tasks she'd left undone. She opened her eyes for a second, glancing at the picture of her, Nick, and Ryan that sat on her bedside table before closing them again.

He would make a great dad - there was no doubt in her mind that he'd be the best at it. There was that charm to him that made kids absolutely love him, not to mention he always knew what to say. He took care of Ryan even when she didn't ask him to. He really was her dream guy.

Maybe it was meant to stay a drunken dream, though. She knew he must not mind the kisses, because he certainly never stopped them, and he didn't mind the flirting, because he flirted right back. They'd make the perfect couple – she knew it. It felt more right than anything ever had, but maybe it just wasn't meant to be. That was her worst fear on these kind of nights, the thought that maybe, they were meant to be just friends.

She would never tell anyone, but sometimes, she drank just to get that comfort from him. She drank so he would hold her and so she could pretend they could be more than friends for a night, and it'd be absolutely fine because she didn't know what she was doing. She wouldn't ever admit it, but as much as she wanted to say she did it for those bad friends, or to forget everything, she didn't. She drank for him. She drank for that _one _guy, she knew she could never have.

And as much as she wanted to say otherwise; it was always worth it.

**...what did you think? haha, reviews?**

**ps, happy Niley day :)  
**


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